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The Widow's Season

Chapter 26

A Knock at Midnight

Rain came, at last.

It had been threatening for days—heavy clouds, thick air—but only on a Wednesday night, as Mira was settling into bed with Thomas’s notebook, did it break.

Fat drops drummed on the window, ran in rivulets down the glass.

She loved rain.

Always had.

It was comforting, in its own way. Honest. It did not pretend to be anything but what it was.

She wrapped her shawl tighter and read by the light of a single candle.

*September 5 – Ferris said today, “We are all one miscalculation away from ruin.” I laughed. Then I coughed. Then I laughed again. He is right. And still we dance.*

A knock sounded.

Soft.

Uneasy.

Not the firm rap of the butler, nor the brisk tap of Sally.

Mira frowned.

She rose, padded to the door, and opened it a crack.

Daniel stood in the dim corridor, shirt damp, hair plastered to his forehead.

Her heart lurched.

“Daniel?” she whispered. “What—”

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately. “I shouldn’t be here. At this hour. In this state. I just—”

He broke off, visibly struggling.

Mira glanced up and down the corridor.

Empty.

Everyone else was abed; the house had settled into its nighttime creaks.

“Come in,” she said quietly, stepping back.

He hesitated only a moment before slipping past her.

She shut the door softly.

He stood just inside, dripping faintly on the carpet, looking as if he might either bolt or collapse.

“What has happened?” she asked, moving closer. “Is it Harcourt? Milton? Caine?”

“No,” he said. “Not…directly.”

“Then—” She stopped. “Reggie?”

“Alive,” he said quickly. “Loud as ever.”

“Gilbert? Eliza?” she pressed.

“All safe,” he said.

“Then what?” she asked.

He let out a breath that sounded torn from somewhere deep.

“I dreamed,” he said, almost roughly. “Of Godwin. Of you. Of ropes. Of that damned warehouse. I woke in a cold sweat and thought: ‘If I do not see her—if I do not *see* her—my mind will…chew itself.’ So I walked. In the rain. And now I am standing in your bedchamber like an idiot and I have no excuse beyond that.”

Her anger—born of fear—subsided.

“Sit,” she said gently. “You are dripping on the rug.”

He blinked, then laughed weakly.

He sat on the small chair by the hearth, shoulders hunched.

She moved to the washstand, poured water into a basin, and handed him a towel.

“You are very…composed,” he remarked, dabbing his face. “I half-expected you to hit me with a candlestick.”

“I considered it,” she said. “Then decided you looked wet enough.”

He smiled faintly.

“Do you often wander to women’s rooms at midnight?” she asked, one brow arched.

“No,” he said. “Only yours. It is a very exclusive lunacy.”

She exhaled, a breath that trembled only a little.

“What did you dream?” she asked.

He stared into the middle distance, towel forgotten in his hands.

“Godwin,” he said. “Standing in that warehouse. Coughing. Surrounded by crates with my name on them. He kept saying, ‘You brought me here.’ I kept saying, ‘I know.’ Then you walked in, holding that key, and every crate turned into a noose.”

She swallowed. “Dreams are crueler than memory.”

“Yes,” he said. “Sometimes kinder. This one…was not.”

She moved closer, drawn.

“You did not bring him there,” she said quietly. “Not alone. You were one thread. He tied his own knots.”

He huffed. “He would hate that metaphor.”

“Yes,” she said. “He would.”

He looked up at her, eyes shadowed.

“I know this,” he said. “In the rational, daylight part of my mind. But in the night, when everything is…raw…it feels…less nuanced.”

She sat on the edge of the bed, hands folded in her lap.

“You came,” she said softly, “because you needed…reminding.”

“Yes,” he said. “I am selfish.”

“You are human,” she corrected.

He smiled, wry.

A drop of rainwater traced down his jaw.

Without thinking, she reached out with the edge of the towel and caught it.

Her hand lingered.

His breath caught.

For a moment, the storm outside seemed to concentrate itself inside the small room: thunder muted to the low thud of blood in her ears, lightning reduced to the flicker of candlelight on his wet lashes.

“Mira,” he whispered.

“Yes,” she said.

“This is…not wise,” he said.

“No,” she agreed.

“Tell me to go,” he said, voice hoarse. “Please.”

“No,” she said again.

He let out a shaky laugh. “You are terrible at this.”

“Yes,” she said. “I am.”

He rose slowly.

They stood, facing each other, inches apart.

Her shawl had slipped, baring one shoulder.

He looked at it as if it were an exposed nerve.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” she realized, belatedly. The one he’d left once after some muddy excursion; Sally had washed it and somehow it had ended up in her drawer. She’d thrown it on over her night shift without thinking.

“It suits you better,” he said, voice strained. “Everything of mine does.”

Her cheeks heated.

The candle guttered once in a draft, then steadied.

His hand lifted, hesitated in the air between them.

She stepped into its shadow.

That was all.

He cupped her cheek.

His thumb swept over her lower lip.

“Last chance,” he murmured. “To keep this…only in words.”

She looked up at him.

“No,” she said, and leaned in.

The first brush of his mouth was almost ridiculously gentle.

A question.

She answered with a small, helpless sound, fingers fisting in his damp shirt.

He made a noise deep in his throat and kissed her properly.

Heat.

Everything else fell away.

His hands framed her face, then slid to the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. Her own hands roamed—shoulders, the line of his neck, the plane of his chest, slick with rain-damp linen.

He tasted of coffee and river and something uniquely, unmistakably *him.*

Her knees wobbled.

He seemed to feel it; his arm circled her waist, pulling her against him.

The contact—full, solid—sent a shock through her.

She pressed closer, greedy, wanting more.

He groaned.

“Careful,” he whispered against her mouth. “If we do not stop, I will—”

She silenced him with another kiss, more urgent.

He stumbled back, hitting the edge of the bed, and they tumbled onto it in a tangle of limbs and fabric.

For a moment, the world narrowed to weight and warmth and the delicious, dizzying wrongness of being half on top of a man in her bed at midnight.

“Wait,” he gasped, tearing his mouth away, breathing ragged. “Mira—”

She froze.

Reality crashed back in.

Her nightshirt. His damp clothes. The thin door. Sally’s cot in the adjoining room. Mrs. Willoughby’s knowing smirk. Lady Bennett’s arched brow. The world.

She closed her eyes, pressing her forehead to his shoulder.

“Damn,” she whispered.

He laughed weakly. “Yes.”

They lay there, breathing hard, neither quite daring to move.

His heart hammered under her ear.

She could have stayed like that forever.

She could not.

“We should…” She swallowed. “Stop.”

“Yes,” he said, relief and regret mingling. “Yes. We should.”

Slowly, as if extricating themselves from some delicate knot, they disentangled.

She sat up, pulling the shawl back around her.

He rolled to sit at the edge of the bed, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“I am sorry,” he said.

“For what?” she asked, genuinely confused.

“For making this harder,” he said. “In every sense.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Do not apologize for kissing me. I would be offended.”

“Noted,” he said faintly.

Silence stretched.

The rain beat a steady rhythm.

“We are not bound by mourning rules,” she said quietly. “Not anymore. Not truly. Society may tut, but my year is nearly up. I have already broken half their expectations. Why should this be different?”

“Because,” he said softly, “you deserve…choice. Not only desire. When we—” He broke off, jaw tightening. “If we cross that threshold, I do not want it to be in a moment of storm and nightmares. I want it to be…because we decided. Not because my ghosts chased me to your door.”

Her throat tightened.

“You are very…romantic,” she said.

He grinned wryly. “Don’t tell anyone. It will ruin my image.”

She reached out, took his hand.

“You may come,” she said, “whenever the dreams chase you. To talk. To sit. To…hold my hand. We can be…what we were before. With…more.”

He squeezed her fingers. “You are sure?”

“Yes,” she said. “We are already…damned. We may as well be honest.”

He brought her hand to his lips, pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“For what?” she asked.

“For not sending me back into the rain,” he said. “For not…finishing what we started. For both.”

She smiled, aching.

“Go,” she said gently. “Before Mrs. Willoughby wakes to relieve herself and finds you lurking in the corridor. She would never let us hear the end of it.”

He shuddered. “Truly terrifying.”

He stood.

At the door, he paused.

“I love you,” he said.

“I know,” she whispered. “Go.”

He slipped out.

She listened to his footsteps recede.

Then she lay back on the bed, heart pounding, lips tingling, mind racing.

She had tasted freedom.

And found it sweeter than any sugar Harcourt had hidden.

Sleep, when it came, was patchy.

But the nightmares that had lurked on the edges of her vision for months…the ones with ropes and rivers and Thomas’s coughing…did not return.

Instead, she dreamed of rain.

And of a hand in hers, steady and warm, pulling her out of dark water and into light.

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Continue to Chapter 27